Sooooo as a sit here watching grey’s anatomy, I am angered because art dictates life and if anyone in my family were in surgery why to fucking divorcees are having a fucking “Scalpel off (stand off)” I would fuck them up to the point where they both would need surgery….then I would pull the fire alarm during there surgery so they could see what its like.
BUUUTTT I digress the real reason I am here is because my friend suggested I blog, and as I sit here drinking my bottle of “Fish Eye Riesling” my dumb ass listened to her. I know I know Whitney stop drinking. But I tutor this kid though and he is actually kinda cool and smart. However, he takes joy out of FUCKING with me….no bullshit this kid went our entire session trying to speak to me in Spanish. In that hour he said adios senorita, pretending he didn’t know senorita meant lady. And every time I go to tutor him he never has homework and then magically 20 minutes into it he finds like 8 worksheets. And this one time I’m outside his house at the door and I could smell chicken frying (NORMALLY I don’t follow stereotypes, I’m from inner city Baltimore and I have a Physics degree, I have a Physics Degree and I do and continue to do THE dumbest shit, I have borderline alcoholism as well as multiple borderline mental disorders: according to the DSM IV but I have a security clearance, and finally I’m an insensitive asshole but have awesome friends and are still making new ones) all this to say I don’t fit stereotypes BUT when it comes to fried chicken…BLACKNESS CONFIRMED. Anyhow I enter the house to find this child has left PRE-COOKED chicken unattended in a POT of HOT grease, this is a South East D.C. home i.e. NO SMOKE DETECTORS, NO SPRINKLER SYSTEM and TRUST THE FIRE DEPARTMENT WILL TAKE THERE TIME….its shit like this why I drink but I actually like this kid reminds me of me, only I knew how to cook.
I live with some of the coolest white people ever like for serious awesome. But in this time I have learned how ghetto and hoodrat this race is…..my sliding pantry door is off its track but kept on, by what you ask a heinkein bottle cap that has been hammered into the floor. My refrigerator shelf has been replaced, MacGuyver-ed, Nigger Rigged, by an origami creation of black Duct tape, and then there is just a random Hole in the ceiling I dunno it was just there one day. All of us have lost our security deposits to THE OTHER problems of the house like my landlord addiction to coke and or crystal meth I don’t know the difference these are “White Drugs” as my father would say.
Finally I use my Iron board as my night stand, coffee filters as my Kleenex, a Sharpe as my shoe polish, and in writing this I have almost finished that bottle of Riesling…..this is my first Blog attempt.
DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE ME
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