Bum Fucked

CAUTION :: This is VERY OFFENSIVE! :: CAUTION

Bum Fucked – No to be confused with Bum Fuck (the middle of nowhere) this term is a defined as the attack or trickery of the homeless.

First and for most I understand that especially in today economy anyone even myself could fall under these unfortunate circumstances. I pray for all the homeless crackhead and Enron alike HOWEVER, stop accosting me.

When a person in need is actually having trouble I give without question, when a cracked out zombie runs to my and places an order and expects me to fund it. I do not, why!? because I am not FUCKING McDonald’s.

The early 90’s hip hop group speaks of Mr. Wendal here is a chorus:

Here, have a dollar,in fact no brotherman here, have twoTwo dollars means a snack for me,but it means a big deal to youBe strong, serve God only,know that if you do, beautiful heaven awaitsThat's the poem I wrote for the first timeI saw a man with no clothes, no money, no plateMr.Wendal, that's his name,no one ever knew his name cause he's a no-oneNever thought twice about spending on a ol' bum,until I had the chance to really get to know oneNow that I know him, to give him money isn't charityHe gives me some knowledge, I buy him some shoesAnd to think blacks spend all that money on big colleges,still most of y'all come out confused

Ummmmmm YEA haven’t met Mr. Wendal, maybe he’s the Santa Claus of the underworld.

P.S. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t signed to a record label but:

Two dollars is dinner at McDonald’s or a crate of Ramen, not just a fucking snack, these bums better start bargain hunting, these poor spending habits are never gonna get you shelter.
Two dollars isn’t just a big deal to me IT’S A SERIOUS MATTER, actually I’d stab you for 50 cent.

True Life: I Carry Change (My encounters)

One day before work at my metro stop, This Bitch pulls her rolling bag to the top of the escalator pulls out her bottle of Evian water lubricates her throat and starts begging….It was watching a hobo show-up to work, in her defense her work day started before mine did.

One day in Baltimore “Yo can I borrow some money yeeeaaa I gonna use it to buy a bottle of vodka but atleast I’m honest and Im not greedy once I get this money Imma go get my bottle go straight to the liquor store and I wont bother anyone else today. I gave him change he went to the liquor store and went home (some bridge I assume).

One day on my way to work “Sir please spare me some change so I can get some orange juice to start my day” I paused starred at him my response “Are you serious to better go to the bathroom cup your hands together and drink water like the rest of us.” I’m sorry I pay taxes and have a job WHY SHOULD HE GET MORE VITAMIN C than I do.

One Saturday at a metro stop, waiting for my friends. “Sir, hi I am part of a program for homeless men, have you heard of it? I said, “No” because I didn’t want to lie to the man. He proceeds to go into a 7 min pitch about how if I bought this paper for 2$ he would get a portion of the proceeds and whoever sells more can make more and it’s a whole program dedicated to really help struggling folk sounded legit he definitely had my sympathy, I didn’t have any change he angered, as if I wasted his time. Homeless people need card swipes….I know RUDE!

In Subway for lunch a deaf man handed me a laminated card I didn’t read it. I handed it back to him I said “I’m not reading this” his reply “Fuck you man” my reply “But your deaf” while he was leaving I asked “Hey, I got some posters I need laminated where’d you get yours done?” I know what your thinking I’m shocked I haven’t been stabbed too. The trick is to only be really mean during day light.

Finally last Wednesday, I’m driving to my tutoring session it was beautiful day (problem one) my windows were down (problem two), there was street construction so that caused traffic this caused me to miss the light (problem three), putting me right in front of a chicken carryout, Nice day + windows down + no mobility = Hobo Bait, I blame myself I knew better than this but oh know I had to act brand new. This man using a carpet as a blanket is rapidly approaching my brother, my brother, this nigger is now at my window with his head in my car, Please man can I have a dollar for some fries to go with my chicken. The light turn green I peeled off. My tutoring session was cancelled I had to turn around and run the Gauntlet again….I ran the light.

With that I’m sorry I blame living in D.C.

Don’t You Dare Judge Me!