First off let me start with this statement I think men should be allowed to carry handbags.
Weird yes, but bare with me I have a story. I was Christmas shopping at Ballston Mall I was parked there for 45 minutes mind you. Now, I’m still not use to living in NOVA/DC where you have to pay for everything air, toilet paper, etc. So I just kind of sucked it up, and proceeded to park in the garage. Upon leaving I get to the booth to pay so I can leave and I hand the woman my credit card to pay. She then starts shaking her head and says no card, no card. I then say, “Okay, okay well I don’t have any cash how do we solve this problem.” She then mutters something in her native tong “Click Click” and then says “You can write a check .” I start looking for my check book I then ask well how much is it. THIS BITCH says “A Dollar”….I give the stankest look and yell, “A DOLLAR, YOU WANT ME TO WRITE A CHECK FOR A DOLLAR” because this is the only place on earth without a card swipe, even hookers have card swipes this ain’t fucking Bedrock, this fucking medieval shopping mall, (a horn beeps I flip off the driver). I couldn’t find my check book I found four quarters gave them to the woman and yelled, “YOUR WELCOME Click, Click”. Now, I know technically I was at fault, but I will not have judge b y some minimum wage booth jockey, with two gold teeth (which I call Mouth Bling). HOW DARE SHE.
But what bothered me most about this trip was I never found my check book. I started thinking I wish I could keep my check book with me, as well as my phone, ipod, camera, gum, switchblade, on me at all times. I want a handbag No Homo, I think it’s an awesome invention, and its utter bullshit that I have to shove all this shit into my pockets. And going through airport security I gotta unload all my shit into a tray. We can even make it thug.
Examples: Instead of purses call them glocks: “Yo watch my glock while I go to the bathroom” or get classy with it, have your purse match your gun holster, I’m not saying go all out I just want one to hold all my shit so I don’t keys and change bang against my dick and balls with each step I take. I like vagina and I like women but I just think for practical reasons men should get purses.
Not my best rant, it was better when I was drunk off the Fish Eye, but shit happens.
DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE ME.
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LMAO! Ok so, I didn't know what to expect after reading the title. But...go ahead and get a man bag. I won't judge. I mean, I might snicker to myself but that's about it. ;-)
ReplyDeleteLOL too funny...Whit, hold my glock while i go take a piss...thanks! LOL
ReplyDeleteDamn 4. I think you should write a book. Seriously. As soon as I am able, I'll fund it. Your writing is so compelling. And I don't like to read. You've really got something here. Keep it up cuz I'm hooked.
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